Money belts: There’s one thing that’s always #1 on every mzungu’s packing list, and that’s a money belt. Money belts are these unattractive, uncomfortable wallets that somewhat resemble a fanny-pack but are worn underneath your clothes. Mzungus won’t go anywhere without their money belt. It is their prized possession, and (even though it completely defeats the purpose) will sometimes even be worn on the outside of an mzungu’s clothing to show off to their uninterested peers. On our way to Kenya this year, we saw another mzungu who was wearing a jean dress with her money belt on the outside. While most would call this easy access, she probably considered it more of a fashion trend.
Asking questions about the food: “Are these potatoes…fried?”
“Was this sukuma soaked in
boiled water?” “You know that there are ants in these chapattis, right?” These are the questions that mzungus will ask at the dinner table. We’re very particular about our food…always trying to avoid sickness and not coming home 50 pounds overweight. Just today we went out for lunch at the very popular Tea Tot Hotel, and, in an attempt to improve our eating habits, we ordered the only thing on the menu that wasn’t deep-fried, one lone boiled egg. I think the waiter had forgotten that this was even an option on the menu…
Earth-toned EMS backpacks: How do you spot an mzungu in a crowd? Look for the big hiker’s backpack. Once you see one of these backpacks you might think, “wow, they must have just climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro!” Don’t get too excited… even though it looks like it’s stuffed with a tent, sleeping bag, and life supply of Cliff bars, it’s really just the suitcase of your average tourist.
Taking pictures with lots of little kids: You’ve all seen the pictures. Every mzungu who’s been to Africa proudly posts them on their facebook profile and hangs them up in the most visible walls of the house. There are even a couple on this blog. Mzungu’s like to show other mzungus that not only have they travelled to Africa, but have befriended dozens of cute little African children.
HandSani and Kleenex: Look in any given mzungu’s bag and you will most certainly find a travel size bottle of handsani and a pack of Kleenex. Mzungus like to feel prepared for any possibly unsanitary situation (i.e. Hole-in-the-ground toilets) and make sure to never go anywhere without a full bottle of purell and enough tissues to brave even the most badly equipped bathroom.
Running with Kenyans: Running beside a Kenyan automatically gives an mzungu a runner’s ego boost. “ I am keeping up with a marathon winner” every mzungu secretly likes to think, no matter if the Kenyan has never run a day before in their life. After going on a run with a Kenyan, mzungus will often consider writing to Runner’s World about the earth-shattering experience. 
Safari jeeps: Though spotting another mzungu is quiet rare, there is probably a 95% chance that when you do see one, they’ll be riding in a safari jeep, camera in hand. Mzungus just love those big, green, rented jeeps that they’ll spend as much time in them as possible. They’ll drive them through Nairobi, they’ll drive them through the dusty roads of the Masaai Mara game park, and, if compelled to do so, they’ll even eat and sleep in them.
Seeing other Mzungus: In a smaller town like Machakos it’s always a surprise to see another mzungu. A couple of days ago we were walking around town when a white girl passed by us on the back of a motorcycle. She threw up a peace sign and we waved with much excitement. “Who is she?” we wondered. “What could she possibly be doing here?” We were perplexed to see her in Machakos, where we are used to being the resident mzungus.
Kenyan handcrafts: When going through security in Nairobi International Airport on your way home, you’ll always see one of those mzungus. You know, the ones that are decked out in Kenyan jewelry and clothing. There will be Masaai bracelets covering their arms, a traditional multicolored scarf draped over their braided hair, and falling out of their bag is a wooden mask carved by a Kamba. If there’s one thing mzungus love, it’s coming home from Africa with a suitcase full of Kenyan handcrafts to show their friends.
Being the only mzungu around: There is an important distinction we should make. While mzungus love to occasionally spot other mzungus, they wont be caught dead in the middle of a big group of them. “ Classic mzungus” they’ll say when a tour bus full of safari hat sporting, sun burned mzungus happens to pass by. It’s a major ego boost for those who aren’t taking part in the mzungu parade.
100% Deet: An mzungu’s greatest fear is that his/her trip be ruined by a bad case of malaria. So in addition to taking daily malaria pills, mzungus will often religiously cover themselves with 100% deet. Ever wonder why people seem to be able to detect the presence of an mzungu before even seeing him/her? It’s because you can smell them coming from about 20 feet away.